Something I am pondering on is that Spirit entered flesh/earth not just as a temporary vehicle, but in order for the union of matter and Spirit to take place. As that takes place matter is transformed – heaven is established in earth, not discarding earth, or the body, but elevating it. It seems to me to not matter if the realisation, the unfolding of my I Amness happens in a blinding moment of epiphany, of realisation, or whether it is a gradual dawning of ‘knowing’. The fact is that I Am. Whether that reality becomes knowing in a blinding Damascus road epiphany or bit by bit unveiling, changes nothing of the fact?

I know that I Am. In I AM there is no disease, no poverty, no relational friction, simply pure eternal beingness. That, however, separates the human experience as of the earth, and the new creation, I Am, as a separate timeline almost. In my current view of bringing Heaven not just to earth, but into earth thereby elevating and transforming it, the bride being earth, the bridegroom being Spirit, I Am as a purely metaphysical being does not meet this understanding. What am I missing? Or not?

And then I look at all of this and think; let it all go. All of it. Just BE. Be through it all. Not think through it all. I Am that I Am. Through all of the experiences, I Am – and I Am is what I Am is in every circumstance. Being I Am is the answer, the solution, the resolution in every experience. I do not find a solution for a situation or circumstance, I Am is the dissolution of every circumstance and situation – transmuting, alchemising all of it to original intention, or to ultimate intention.

As I walk through these questions, puzzles, what ifs, it is my lived experience. Not simply thoughts and questions in my thinking, but very much a lived experience in my body, my emotions and my circumstances. It feels as if my very body has to ingest whatever it is that comes up, chew it, swallow it and digest it, thereby transmuting it into a new substance. Bringing Heaven to Earth is an all encompassing experience – and frankly, exhausting at times! 🙈🥴. Would I want to change it? Not ever! I am so deeply grateful and excited when understanding dawns after the topsy turvy confusion. Spirit hovers over the waters and creates order out of the chaos of not knowing.