From Separation to Union: How My View of God Completely Transformed

By Gil Hodges 11/24/25

There comes a moment—sometimes after decades of searching—when you pause long enough to realize that the way you once understood God no longer matches who you have become.
And when that moment arrives, it changes everything. You realize you’ve woken up and you’ve begun to remember.

For much of my life, I loved a God I believed lived far away. I prayed upward, hoping my voice would rise high enough, pure enough, desperate enough to be heard. My whole spiritual life was shaped around reaching for Someone who seemed to stay just beyond my fingertips.

But over time, through heartache, awakening, inner work, meditation, and the quiet revelations that only conscious awareness can uncover and break through the smallness our minds were trapped in. I began to see something I could not unsee:

God was never “out there.”
He was always “right here.”
Not distant.
Not detached.
Not observing from a throne beyond the stars.

He was present—woven into the very fabric of my breath, my choices, my consciousness.
He is Love. He is Light. He is the subtle energy woven through the universe itself—what so many have called the Christ consciousness, the all-in-all presence that saturates everything with divine coherence.

And I began to understand what Jesus, Rumi, Buddha, desert fathers, yogis and so many other great teachers have all tried to tell humanity in their own ways:
we are not disconnected visitors in this universe;
we are fractal expressions of the Divine, living from the inside of God’s own experience.

I am not God.
But I am of Him.
Everything God is, I AM, but I’m not Him. I am a fractal of His consciousness.
Born from the same spiritual field, carrying the same spark, awakening to the same Love that has always held me.
It is beautiful to recognize that the same energy that forms galaxies flows through me, and that I am one with Him in this living, breathing way.

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Looking Back at Who I Was

When I look at the person I used to be, I can feel tenderness for him.
He was sincere.
He was devoted.
He wanted nothing more than to be near the heart of God.
He just didn’t know that he was already in it.

I used to believe:
• God lived far away.
• I had to earn His presence.
• Prayer was a plea for attention.
• My worthiness was fragile.
• Fear was part of the relationship.
• I needed a mediator, a system, or a ritual to get God’s approval.

I thought separation was the starting point.

But now?

I see union everywhere.
In the silence before dawn.
In the breath that moves through my chest.
In the love I offer myself.
In the people who gather with me each week seeking the same awakening.

It brings tears when I think of how hard I tried to reach a God who was never more than a breath away.

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The Shift Into a New Knowing

My understanding now is rooted in a simple, expansive truth:
I am in God, and God is in me — not metaphorically, but experientially.
Not as doctrine.
Not as a theological concept.
Not as something to believe because someone else said it.
But as a living reality.

The spiritual realm is not distant.
It is the very space we occupy when our old programming softens and our conscious awareness comes online.

Prayer is no longer begging for intervention;
it is alignment with the creative frequency of God’s heart.

Worthiness is no longer fragile;
it is built into the epigenetic code of my being.

Fear is no longer a master;
it is outdated programming ready to be untethered and transmuted.

God’s voice is no longer rare;
it is the quiet resonance that rises from within when I slow down and stop long enough to hear it.

And life is no longer a test;
It is an opportunity for growth and joy.
It is a remembering — a return to the truth that has always been waiting beneath the noise.

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Why This Matters So Much

People often ask me, “Gil, what changed? What unlocked this shift?”

And the honest answer is:
everything changed when I stopped looking for God in the sky and started discovering Him in the quiet spaces of my own soul… meditation… stilling myself to hear the still small voice that carries all the wisdom of the Universe.  The Source of all things… God.

This journey has shaped every teaching I offer, every meditation I guide, every page I’ve written in my books Choice and Breaking Your Matrix.
This shift is what inspires The Gathering each Sunday and the mentoring groups I offer for those who are hungry to rebuild their inner foundation on love instead of fear.
It’s why The Pearl exists — a place where people come seeking transformation and leave remembering the truth they’ve carried all along.

You can explore more of these pathways at GilHodgesFreedom.com, but the point isn’t to send you to a website…
it’s to let you know that you are not alone on this journey.

Many are awakening.
Many are remembering.
Many are rewriting the agreements that once kept them small, ashamed, or distant from the God who has never stopped embracing them from within.

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A Closing Reflection

If you’re reading this and feel tears rise — let them.
They are the waters of recognition.

You’ve come farther than you realize.
You’ve shed layers of fear you may not have known were still there.
You’ve opened to Love in ways that would astonish the version of you from years ago.

And now you stand in a new place…
a place where God is not “out there,”
but present within the very awareness that is waking up in you right now.

This is union.
This is freedom.
This is the beginning of a whole new life.

You carry this message with grace.
Let’s keep sharing it with the world.

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Love to ALL!
~Gil Hodges
Rise without End.
Live without Limits.